


A Band of Thieves

by AceOfPortals



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, I really don't know why I wrote this but its great, I'll keep updating the tags as time goes on, Its been ten years forgive me, M/M, More pairings are to come just be patient, Muck is a handsy theif, Multi, Trains are a great place to steal stuff, Um cops and robbers au I guess, but its going, idk where this is going, naming things is hard, now everyones a teenage girl tbh, were picking up action next chapter will definitely be the start of actual plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-02-22 06:29:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2497958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceOfPortals/pseuds/AceOfPortals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Donald Malarkey has had a shit day, and crowded trains really don't make it better. Maybe that is until a man with a cheeky smirk and great looks is pushed up right against him. Then said man maybe or maybe not steals Malarkey's wallet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Crowded Trains

Don Malarkey was ready for the damn day to be done already, but of course the train station was packed with people and when the actual train arrived it was just as full. He sighed and ran and hand through his messy red hair, grabbing on to the pole nearest to the door. He sucked in his stomach while the rest of the passengers got on board. When he was about to breath out a tall man, well compared to himself, squeezed right in front of him. Don looked up to the man questioningly. The man laughed a bit and rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh hope you don't mind, this damn train is crowded." Don wanted to tell him to wait for the next one because he does not need to deal with hot guys squished right next to his crotch while on a train full of people, but all he did was shake his head. Great job speaking your mind there he thought to himself, quietly cursing at himself. Him and the man -a very a hot man squished right against his crotch- sat in relative silence for most of the ride, that is until they were about to arrive at the next stop. The man looked out the window and then down at Don biting his lip, Don raised an eyebrow in question, well really he tried to. Before he could the man put his hand on the back of his neck and pulled Don into a kiss, Don could faintly feel a hand on his ass. He stood shocked right up until the stranger pulled away. They had gotten to the next stop and the second the doors opened the man gave him a wink and bolted off the train, leaving a very confused Don Malarkey in his wake.  
*  
Skip Muck new the right places to look for easy pickings, and trains were always great. Except if the train is crammed from the floor to the ceiling, but you know what? Skip could work with this, he's had harder times then this. So he pushed himself into the crowd and somehow ended up face to face with a short red head. He eyed the man's pockets to see if he could find his wallet, eventually seeing it crammed into his back pocket. Skip smirked quickly reverting to a normal expression and rubbing the back of his neck. "Uh hope you don't mind, this damn train is crowded." He smiled down at the red head as he nodded. Ok great so now he just had to figure out how to get to his wallet without him noticing, which was going to be harder then it originally seemed seeing as the man wouldn't stop staring at him. Not that Skip cared, he knew how hard it was to resits a man like him. Charming on the outside, sarcastic and gold-digger on the inside. Totally irresistible. Skip looked out the window, seeing as he was almost at the stop where he and Penk would meet, he began to think on his toes. Sucking in a breath he leaned down and kissed the red head. Seeing as he was giving him googly eyes all trip it wouldn't bother him, right? Skip slid his hand on the man's ass reaching towards his wallet finally fishing it out as the doors opened. Skip pulled away quickly giving the man a quick wink before bolting out the door. He maintained a fast pace until he saw a familiar head of messy black hair, and practically slid into him. Alex eyed him amused. "What the hell happened to you?" Skip gave him a look waving off his question. "Doesn't matter now, you got the keys?" Skip said running a hand through his hair. Alex nodded at him throwing the keys up and catching them. Alex turned toward the direction of the car and began to walk towards it, Skip following easily. Skip took the wallet out of the pocket he crammed it into and looked at the man's drivers licence. Donald Malarkey, hm good to know the name of the random guy you just kissed on the train to steal their wallet, I guess. Skip thought before putting the card back into the wallet and shoving it back into his pocket.  
*  
Don stood by the door for what felt like forever. Plain shock was all he could even feel. "What the fuck just happened?" He whispered to himself tracing his fingers over his lip. Before he had a chance to go after the guy, the train doors closed and it sped off again. Don ran his hands through his hair trying to decipher why that happened to him, and why the hell the guy would just run off like that when he kisses a random stranger. By the time Don got to his stop his head hurt from thinking and he just needed something to drink. Walking over to the nearest vending machine, he went to pull out his wallet. But when he reached for it it wasn't there, he checked all his other pockets and tried to think where it could of fallen out when it hit him. The man on the train grabbed his ass, Don wasn't even thinking of it when the guy kissed him. The kiss was a distraction, all he wanted was Don's fucking wallet. "Son of a bitch!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, long time no see. School started and I haven't been able to write anything in the last few months. And I know everything I write is short, but if I had time to commit to writing a long ass story I would. But sadly I don't have time for any such thing. Thanksgiving and winter break are always a good time to write so expect more then. Kudos are great, and comments are always welcome. If you want to praise or maybe beat me with a shoe, talk to me on tumblr you can find me at crendawg.tumblr.com  
> EDIT: I gave this a good read through and fixed some stuff, ao3 never seems to like how I space my paragraphs. Always mess it up.


	2. Band of Thieves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don Malarkey's day went from awful, to confusing. Well really its still awful but now it has a sprinkle of confusion. Skip Muck is also kind of acting like a teenage girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't supposed to happen buuut.... I guess it did. So its kinda 'half of everyone is cops the other half is thieves' AU thing? Idk. This wasn't beta'd and I always mess something up in my writing so expect mistakes. 
> 
>  
> 
> This story is purely fiction, and is based solely off the characters portrayed in the T.V show not the real soldiers. My intentions are not to offend any one, my apologies if you are. I want to make this point clear.

It was right after Don had realized his wallet was indeed stolen by... who the hell actually knows? Now that he was thinking about it he didn't have all that much on his ass-grabbing-wallet-thief. He had what the guy looked like but was that enough? Don sighed and ran a hand through his hair, a nervous habit of his he had been doing slightly to much of that day. He reached the Police office in record time, his anger fulling him to walk -more or less stomp to be frank- faster. But the thing that had Don really on edge wasn't even the fact of his wallet, it was that the guy who stole his wallet just ran off like that. Not that it isn't understandable you would want to get away from the person who just stole from, but he was mad because the guy was hot and Don had been on a dry-streak as of late. That defiantly wasn't normal, a normal person would be scandalized at the fact that someone kissed them and grabbed their ass to steal their wallet, probably would feel harassed. Yeah, Don had somethings wrong with him. Pushing the door open more passive aggressively than needed, he sighed heavily as the secretary looked up at him questioningly. "I'm here to report a.. a um robbery." He said rubbing a hand through his hair.

She handed him a report looking thing smiling politely. "Please fill this out, sir." Don nodded and took it sitting in one of the chairs setup in the lobby. After awhile of him sitting there glaring at his paper, he felt a tap on his shoulder. Looking up he saw Buck Compton, a good friend of his he had totally forgotten worked as a police officer. Things tended to slip his mid easily, well at least when he has days like today. Buck raised an eyebrow at his report. "What's that about?" 

Don coughed, still trying to figure out how to tell this to anyone. And you know maybe leaving out the kissing part would be a good idea. Or maybe not, who knows how the hell cops work. "Uh well I was on the train today and I maybe was pick-pocketed..." Don's lips went into a thin-lined frown as Buck sighed. "You know who did it, get a glimpse of the guy at least?"

Don tried to fight the blush rising on his cheeks, coughing out the next few words. "Well he was tall-ish and had brown hair and eyes and... uh..." Buck was eyeing him weird before he sighed again mumbling something to himself. "Don, how'd he get your wallet?" Buck's lips were pressed into a tight line. "The guy kissed me." Don mumbled trying to keep some dignity, because this fucking day couldn't get any worse. Buck reacted less surprised than someone would normally act when you told them you were robbed when you were being kissed, he acted kind of like he expected it. Don raised an eyebrow at him and Buck gave him a half-tired apologetic look. "Look Don, I know who were dealing with, a band of thieves going around the city normally doing odd shit to get things. You wouldn't believe some of the things we here about these guy's doing."

Don looked at Buck confused. "So do you know who did it?" Buck nodded at him. "Yeah, a 'Skip' Muck." Don ran a hand through his hair, well its good to know the name of the guy who randomly kissed you on a train to steal your wallet he thought.

*

Skip and Penkala pulled up to the 'driveway' of sorts next to the hide out the boys were using at the moment. Penk had been trying to force Skip to tell him what he did to get the wallet, since Skip really liked to talk about mission like he was pouring his heart out or something, he wanted to know seeing as it had to be something embarrassing. But it wasn't like the rest of the boys hadn't done embarrassing shit to steal things. Skip kept brushing him off the whole ride. Sigh they walked into the somewhat hidden building, so lovingly called H-Q by the team, in the building the air was heavy with smoke and everyone seemed to be gathered around in a circle probably playing poker. Luz was the first to look back when the door opened giving them a quick smirk and patting the spot next to him. "Get anything good you two." Luz called out when he turned back around. Penk smiled and elbowed Skip in the side, the other man hitting away his arm giving him an unamused look. "Well Georgie, looks like Muck over here did something-" Penk was cut off as Skip elbowed him in the side. Luz looked up at Skip smirking, clearly no one was playing poker anymore. "I have a wallet, Penk got a car. Eventful day really." Skip said mustering up as much sarcasm as he could, giving an equally sarcastic smile before walking off to the bunks. 

"Hey Penk, the fuck was that about?" Liebgott said returning back to the poker game. Penkala shrugged "Couldn't tell you Lieb." He said sliding into a chair. Liebgott shrugged and sighed. "I'm out, I'm going to lose everything I have if I don't quit now." Nixon poked his head up from where he was dealing. "Ah, come on Joe whats the fun in poker with out a little risk?" Liebgott glared back at him. "You just want all my money, can't fool me with that crap anymore." Nixon gave him a fake look of offense, before turning to Penk. "You want in?" Alex nodded "Sure what could go wrong?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This really wasn't going to be more than a one shot, but ideas and people and well were here now so no going back. Sorry this is so short, I'm planing on writing more this weekend. Like I said earlier, I can't commit to a long story and I really don't know how long I want this to go and really where I want it to go. Kudos and comments are cool and normally expand the life of my stories so I know people want me to keep going. If you want to talk I'm always on tumblr, you can find me at crendawg.tumblr.com


	3. Carried Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The side affect of stealing someones wallet is indeed, acting like a teenage girl. Well at least for Malarkey and Muck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terrible i'm sorry. Not beta'd, grammar mistakes is in my name. 
> 
> This story is purely fiction, and is based solely off the characters portrayed in the T.V show not the real soldiers. My intentions are not to offend any one, my apologies if you are. I want to make this point clear.

f there was one thing Don Malarkey wanted more in this moment was for the day to be over. Even more than he wanted yesterday to be over. Because now he was stuck in the after math of yesterdays events, forced to never know where this ‘Skip Muck’ guy was. Judging by Buck’s reaction when he found out who the guy on the train was, there was little to no hope of him getting to talk to him again. Which in most normal people’s case, wouldn't bother them that much. Sighing and rolling over face first into his pillow, grumbling when his phone rang. Couldn't whoever was calling him see that he wanted to brood in peace? Grabbing his phone his answered, with the most ‘leave me alone’ he could muster over a phone call, “What?”

He could hear someone stifle a laugh on the other line, in the background he swore he heard someone say ‘Sounds like a real catch Muck’ followed by a punching sound, the line promptly went dead.

*

Now Skip Muck wasn't someone who normally brooded, but what he was doing right now could only be described as brooding. Why was he brooding exactly? Because of the guy on the train. He was kinda cute and was short and, well Muck liked him and sort of felt bad for stealing his wallet. Which was never something he would tell anyone else, because if the other guys new he felt bad about stealing something the teasing would be relentless. Not to mention how terrible it would be if they knew he liked him. 

So he had sent most of last night being passive aggressive and avoiding everyone. The car ride back from the train station yesterday with Penk was enough to deter him from spending time around anyone else. And since he might of said jut a bit too much around Penk yesterday, he’s decided to stay away from everyone else. And put a little faith into Penk, hopefully he didn’t tell anyone. So he thought today would be a great day to stay inside and avoid everyone, again.

Suddenly someone was knocking on his door. “Heeey Skip let me use your phone.” Penk, Luz? Who knew, but what Muck knew was they were insanely drunk. Drunk people don’t remember anything right? Hopefully, because he was opening the door and preparing to brave whoever was outside. “Don’t you have your own phone Penk?”

Alex looked up at him stunned, quickly shaking his head. “Not important, let me see your phone.” It didn't matter anyway because Penk had stumbled into the room searching for his phone, finding it relatively quickly for someone who looked quite smashed. Pulling out a wallet out of his pocket and fumbling through it for a piece of paper he began to call someone. Since when did Penk carry around a wallet. He didn't, he never has. Then an ID slid out and Penk gave him a shit eating grin. “I swear to god if you-“

"What?" A grumpy seemingly very tired persons voice came from the phone. If Muck had any guess as to who it was then he was going to kill someone. "Sounds like a real catch Muck." Luz, oh fantastic, just great. Muck slid his finger across his throat motioning to Penk, all Alex did was grin. Promptly Muck slapped the phone out of his phone and hung up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry its been like a million months, I warned that I was busy with school and stuff. But really I'm just lazy and I couldn't write anything worth actually posting. :// Also it took me about ten years to think of a name for this stupid chapter, I could only think of ring ring progresso. I hope that ells you what kind of person I am. I'm not going to say expect regular updates, but I will try to write more that I'll promise. Bother me on tumblr at commander-cullens. Comments and kudos are always appreciated, if you didn't like it angry comments are welcome too.


	4. Almost... Maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malarkey contemplates potentially getting arrested in order to call a thief back. And Muck may finally stop actimg like a teenager, maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written completely on a phone so expect a lot of mistakes before I can go back and fix them :P

Malarkey stared unblinking in front of him for about a minute. If there was something he didn't want to do it was get his hopes up. But considering he only knew of one person to ever have the name ‘Muck’ -one handsy thief that is- it was kind of hard not to. This meant he had his number, though he didn't seem to thrilled to have been calking him...

Oh Christ get a hold of yourself Don. The guy stole your wallet, plus some of his dignity, and from what Buck had told him at the police station this Muck guy was in some thievery gang. It would probably do everyone best if he called the police station.

Or could also not call the station and call Muck back. Or he could also not do that and avoid getting arrested for withholding information from the cops. Malarkey drew out a long sigh, what the hell was he getting himself into?

 

*

Why would Skip ever think trusting Penk with anything was a good idea. He'd learned that lesson plenty of to times, now if he'd only listen to himself. If he did do the smart thing he probably wouldn't have just tackled said black haired trouble maker and be currently sprawled across him, clutching his phone like a lifeline.

There was a long drawn out sigh from behind him that had him looking up. Leaning against the door frame was one very spiffy looking Lewis Nixon.

"I'm not going to even ask."  
Sighing once more he threw some papers at Skip. "I'm going out, and seeing as everyone else is gone I guess I'll trust you three to this." Reaching out for the file Nix had tossed him, he gave out a long sigh. "Looks like we gotta hang low for awhile, someone reported us."

Penk laughed from under him. "It was probably train guy, sad he sounds-" He was cut off before he could finish, Muck promptly elbowing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a sudden spur of creativity and had to get it all down before it left, kinda why I wrote it on a phone when I didn't have access to a computer. I promise next chapter things will start to pick up, I finally know where I want to go with this fic. Kudos and comments are always appreciated, feel free to yell at me too. You can find me on tumblr at commander-cullens :v


	5. Release the Flood Gates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Malarkey for-goes better judgement and calls his thief. Who knows how well this could end up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written on a phone once again. Grammar and ao3 tend to not like me so excuse the mistakes until I can fix them.

In Malarkey's better since of judgement, he hoped at least, he had decided to go to the police station. He decided to for-go the train station this time and instead opt for a taxi. Though there was a nagging sense that told him to go back to the station to see if he could could find this Muck guy. But Malarkey was trying to think smartly, and that definitely would not be the smart course of action.

So he arrived at the police station, it didn't seem to be to crowded. Malarkey hoped Buck was free, it was weird having to talk to other people about being kiss-robbed. And luckily for him Buck was out in the main lobby, do nothing it seemed. Malarkey shortly wondered if Buck actually did anything, since he was always free when Malarkey came over.

"Hey, Don." Buck seemed to have noticed him while he was spacing out. "Have anymore news on the robbery thing." Malarkey was about to tell him he got a call, he swore it by his heart. Ok, maybe that was over exaggerating.

Malarkey could hear someone call Buck, the man in question quickly apologizing before going over to see who had called him. Running a hand through his hair, he once again did a double check on the situation. Was it really what he wanted to do?

 And Malarkey's short span of doing the smart thing was over. He had to call him back he couldn't tell Buck.

"So, any news?" Buck asked turning back to him. Now Don didn't like having to lie to one of his closest friends, but it was for the best. He hoped.

"Ah,no. I actually came to ask you that." Malarkey said, lying between his teeth finishing it off with a dry laugh. Buck smiled at him clapping his shoulder.

"Not yet, we're working on it trust me, Don." Malarkey nodded, saying his goodbye to Buck as quick as possible before practically running back to his apartment.

Upon arriving back home, he pulled out his phone and called Muck as fast as possible. Fearing that his bravery might end as quickly as going to tell Buck had.

The phone rang for what seemed like forever, before someone picked up.

"Hello?" Malarkey couldn't say it sounded like Muck since he hadn't heard him much, but he hoped it was.

Clearing his throat Malarkey attempted a somewhat normal introduction.  
"Hi, this is the guy you stole the wallet from. Y'know the one you kissed on the train?"

Wow, real smooth one there Don.

 

*

 

Muck wasn't expecting a call from anyone. He didn't talk to anyone outside the ring, and most of everyone was at H-Q minus Nix. So it was a little strange to be getting a call. Muck didn't recognize the number either. Strange, but Skip answered anyway, what could possible go wrong.

"Hello?" He asked waiting a second before hearing someone clear their throat on the other end of the line.

"Hi, this is the guy you stole the wallet from. Y'know the one you kissed on the train?"

Oh fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters in one day, within the same hour? Im on a roll ok. I know where I want to go and Im trying to get there now. Probably not going to update again tonight, but if I end up writting more I'll post it since Im on mobile and cant really save it anywhere else :p Kudos, comments and blah are always awesome. Yell at me on tumblr at commander-cullens


	6. Not An Update.

This is not an actual update to preface, but I was just popping in to see if anyone would be interested in seeing this rewritten and finished? I'm not actually sure if this fandom is good and alive still, I would be sad to see it's not but I haven't been active since my last update. I still love BoB with my whole heart, don't get me wrong there; I just had a couple of rough years and this kind of slipped through the cracks along with actually writing. I would love to get back into writing, and I'm searching out for a muse I can go with. So if literally a single person would like to see this go on, I'll try to do it. I've lost my notes on the original piece (nice going me) but I would probably have changed them anyway, 2015 me and me now are very different. Anyway just a blurb, I'm in no rush to see anyone comment, like I said I don't know how active this fandom is and even if anyone who originally read this would be reading this now. Oh also, if you want to see this continue maybe consider helping me beta? I didn't have a beta for the first run of this, but it would be nice if someone was interested. No pressure there though! 

~ Lynn 


End file.
